Some Humor to Start Your Monday!!!

Most folks following this blog know my articles are usually focused on somewhat serious topics. Well, this morning I had an inspiration … at least once a week I am going to post something humorous, or light-hearted. WAYTOGOC

Today’s post comes to you thanks to my friend Jeff Sacks. My hope is these little quips will put a smile on your face! Thank you Jeff!!

Note: There are a few adult words in this article, so consider yourself warned! <smile>

Random Thoughts of the Day

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, All I hear is “I’m not really smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a “dick” from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
Bad decisions make good stories.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.